I thought about it.

I can't let someone who doesn't really know me anymore make decisions about what is best for me. While certainly the creativity has been pulled from my life and left a void...I am productive now. I can wake up for work in the morning like most people do. I can work an 8 hour day without freaking out halfway through it, not finishing my job. I have developed patience and kindness...and if those are medically enhanced side effects, then so be it.

But what made me realize that I really have changed is I told my husband about this exchange. I let him read the posts, the emails and even told him about my personal reply. This is what I have in my life now. I have truth, honesty, loyalty and allegiance. These are qualities I never possessed in my entire life. With the love and support of my husband, getting behind me no matter what it is I decide is best for me, I have created a better me.

Incidentally, I am certain that this person cannot tell me that they have changed naturally and on their own. After all, they are still in touch with me...and likely have not told his fiancee that he is still talking to the girl he loved and had a long term affair with. My husband knows everything...and fears none of it.

I think that shows my progression as a human being and speaks for itself.