I am in a better place today.

Sometimes, it's hard to know that the better place will be coming along if you just wait for it. It's a long wait sometimes. Seems like years go by. I look back at the things I wrote a mere 5 days ago and it is hard for me to fathom feeling so different. This makes me wonder...are my medications actually doing what they are supposed to? Yes, the hypermania is gone to a certain extent. I cruise along at a pretty even pace. Then suddenly...boom. Life falls out from underneath me. And when I crash, I crash hard. It seems that before the medications, the mania was the issue. It was bad, reckless in fact. Now it feels as though the depressions have taken the place of the mania. It hits twice as hard...or maybe it just feels that way. I don't know.

Yesterday wasn't a good day. Tomorrow is my birthday. I don't know what it will bring. For today, I am in a better place...so I think I will enjoy it while I can.