i had my first manic episode in a long time while in New York recently. It wasn't so bad because I was dealing with some pain issues. I was able to contain it a bit more readily. I notice that with pain comes the issue of deep depression. I was feeling so lousy since rupturing my eardrum. The dependancy on pain medication already wreaks havoc with a volatile system. So I had a rapid cycling problem this week. It happens so quickly, the way it crawls up...and then, slam. Chokehold on me and I suffer. I have to admit that since upping my medication, I handled this incident far better than I would have if my meds had stayed the same. I decided to stop counting down how long it has been since a mood swing. I am cutting myself loose from those kind of ties and pigeonholing myself into one neat little package. I figure it has been awhile since I had a problem, so that answers what I already knew...the medication is working for me. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it hasn't yet...so I am going to ride it out for all its worth.

One day at a time. Tragcially cliche, but oh so true.