I haven't been here in such a long time. That is a good and bad thing. At first, I wasn't here because there was nothing to say. Things were fine. Then, I wasn't here because I fell into such a deep depression I couldn't make it out of my bed for the past two weeks. No showers. No brushing my hair. I don't even remember the last time I changed out of my pajamas. To everyone in the world, that would sound disgusting...except for people who deal with major depression. For us, it's normal behavior. We've come to expect it and to wallow in it until that first ray of light comes back into our life...lifting the depression from our backs. It's a hard pill to swallow, knowing that this is your life. But you make the best of it and when the light comes, you forgive yourself...remembering that this isn't your fault, but rather, the way it is. It's a handicap...a disease no different than diabetes or cancer. It slowly eats at you as well. Slowly.

Today I found the light, so I am ready to return. It feels so good to be in the sun again.