Breathing techniques are bullshit. At least for me they are.

I tried doing the breathing slowly in and out thing that my therapist wanted me to do. I started laughing midway through the exercise. I can't do that shit...it's too yoga/holistic for me. I told him that when I am manic, as I have been for the past week, nothing is going to slow me down and make me breathe easy. He told me we would stop when I wanted to. So, I stopped, once I stopped laughing that is.

"Breathe in cleansing air. Feel it go to all the places that need healing. Exhale the pain. Let go of the breath slowly and you are blowing out all the negative energy."

Are you shitting me with this crap?

There is no healing energy. That's a bunch of horseshit. Things happen, negative and positive. No amount of breathing is going to dispel that. Admittedly, sometimes when I am having some sort of anxiety issue, I do inhale deeply and blow out slowly and that usually calms me down. But in a setting where it is just me and my therapist, I can't help feeling that he is just having me sit there and blow in and out to watch my tits go up and down. Isn't that just horrible of me? But that's what I think and that is what makes me start laughing.

I think I am going to tell him at my next therapy session that I don't want to do those breathing exercises. He better not press me into doing them because I will stop going there. No difference to him I am sure, but it will piss me off enough to stop going to therapy. I don't much believe in therapy anyway. I don't see how talking to a stranger for a hundred bucks an hour makes anything better. I mean, hello? I am paying you to listen to me. I have people at home that will listen to me for free. It's not like they offer any insight or anything. That whole reflecting emotion thing...I am aware of it so it doesn't work on me.

"I am so pissed off about that!"

"It sounds like you are very upset about that..."

"Yes! Oh my God! That's exactly how I feel! You are the best therapist ever! You know exactly what I am talking about!"

*eye roll*

Horseshit. Any dumb fuck with an ounce of listening skills can mirror and reflect someones emotions. So why am I going? Easy. The nursing board will look upon it favorably. Lookie lookie...she went and got herself some help. That's such a good girl.

1234567 all good children go to heaven.

Feh.