I'm off to the psychiatrist this morning. I don't know what she is going to do with me. I don't know what I am going to do with her. I think I want to wean off of some of this stuff. I know it might be a dangerous thing to do, but I just want to see what happens. Curiousity. Morbid curiousity. I think I will leave myself alone though. I don't want to tamper with myself right now. I am level. I am serene. I don't like to play when I am like this. I just sit back and enjoy it because I know it doesn't last for very long. The UP or DOWN will be back in time and I will yearn for this kind of moment. I will read about it on this blog and be happy to know that I have moments of clarity like this. It will give me something to look forward to when I feel there is nothing out there. This blog is my therapy. When people comment, it is sort of like being in group therapy. When they don't comment, it is my own personal session. I like having this blog and reading back to when days were really, really bad. It fills me with promise and with hope.
I have to go to my appointment.
3 comments:
Years ago, when I was just getting adjusted to my bipolar disorder, I tried many times to stop my meds, but I always got sick. If you're doing well, that means the meds are doing their job. You don't want to mess with that, girl. Just be grateful.
I don't like seeing my doctor. I hope your appt went well.
I hope there was some way to help you better. It doesn't sound like all those meds are doing anything much. I always thought it was weird that doctors insist people keep taking them even when they aren't correcting the situation. I hope you made out alright.
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