I am worried about this rash I am getting from the Lamictal.

It doesn't appear to be Steven-Johnson's Syndrome. It is a facial rash, around my jawline. Little papules with areas of erythema. Not exactly the target lesions of SJS. I am also not running a fever, so that doesn't correspond. I do, however, have a little sore in my mouth. That could be from the Mastercleanse bullshit. I stopped it. With all my allergies, I realized that sucking down raw lemons, eating cayenne peppers, chugging saltwater and then, drinking tons of senna tea is not the best idea in the world. Especially when I am trying to identify the cause of my rash right now; whether it is the lamictal or the crazy shit I am putting into my body.

I ended that crap right quick with a Big Mac. Rock on.

I got my period a week early. More Lamictal issues? I wonder. I think I am letting the whole SJS thing worry me. It's ridiculous. I'm a dermatology nurse. I know better. I know how rare it is, yet every little itch, bump and scratch is putting me into panic mode. Obviously, I am not sleeping again. Its nearly 7am and I haven't slept, despite being tired. I am in manic phase full blast. I feel great when I am like this, like I can conquer the planet and a huge change from what I wrote last week.

I am considering letting this blog go public and opening up comments. As I have been surfing around, I realize there are scarcely any resources out there for people with BPD who are taking Lamictal. Sure, lots of drug company propaganda and tons of Web MD stuff, but nothing real. No one concrete who has been able to say, Yes, I have done this and here is my experience. The only person I have noted thus far is the Jerod Poore from Crazymeds.org. Now that guy is really doing the world a public service. How he is not all over Google is a mystery to me.

Funny how this blog serves no purpose when I am in my acute manic phase. I often wonder why I bother writing in it at all. I have my "other" blog for times like this...my happy place. (No, I am not linking it). This is supposed to be for when I am miserable. But, I'm not. Not today. I'm feeling pretty fucking good right now actually.

Oh, if it could be like this forever.

I suppose I came here because of my concerns with the medications. I don't really want to discuss it at the happy zone. Besides, no one reads blogs on the weekends anyway. Well, except me, because it is the only time I have.

This is pointless. I need to get to bed. The fucking sun is coming up.

Who the hell made it 46 degrees in Florida, may I ask?