Subject:
Wow.
Date:
Thu, 28 Dec 2006 16:45:50 -0500
From:
CP (email address here)
To:
Mom (email address here)




You should really be ashamed of yourself. How do you look at yourself every
morning? You are so self-absorbed and narcissistic that it is frightening.

You criticized your brother (my uncle) harshly for the way he reacted to J. (my 8 year old nephew), by saying "who does something like that to a little boy?", but then tell your own grandaughter you will "never forgive her" and how everyone in the family hates her? You come down on her the VERY next day after her husband leaves for another six months and ONE day before she is leaving your home?

Have you NO self control whatsoever? Are you that far gone already?

You have all the classic symptoms of Histrionic Behavior and Narcissism. Shall I
go over them with you?

Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.
Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.
Excessive concern with physical or financial appearance to others.
A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).
Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.
Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear shallow to others.
Opinions are easily influenced by other people, but difficult to back up with
details.
Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they
actually are.

And of course, because this is criticism, you will no doubt print it out, run into my
father with a copy of this in hand and say, "Look what this bitch said to me,
Harold!" He will, of course, take your side and say, "Why do you listen to her,
Esther. That's not you."

That's what he is supposed to say. He's your husband. He loves you. He is going
to be supportive of you. In his logical mind? If you weren't around? He'd be
nodding his head to each and every single one of those things. If he really loved
you, he'd help you get help...like my husband did for me.

Sadly, this "bitch" is right. You might want to learn to listen. I am dangerously
overeducated, Mom...and I know my psychiatric disorders. You are classic
bipolar. It's a genetic disorder. You got it from your mom. I got it from you.

Ready for those?

Depression phase of BPD:

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
Irritability, anger, worry, agitation, anxiety
Pessimism, indifference
Loss of energy, persistent lethargy
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness
Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness
Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal
Unexplained aches and pains

Manic Phase of BPD:

Increased physical and mental activity and energy
Heightened mood, exaggerated optimism and self-confidence
Excessive irritability, aggressive behavior
Decreased need for sleep without experiencing fatigue
Grandiose delusions, inflated sense of self-importance
Racing speech, racing thoughts, flight of ideas
Impulsiveness, poor judgment, distractibility
Reckless behavior such as uncontrollable shopping sprees or
over-medicating.

Any five symptoms qualifies you as having Bipolar disorder. You have at least 14
or more.

But, all that aside? You lecture me on how to be a better mother and then
behave like this toward your grandaughter who is already miserable and crying? And then, after you feel good and guilty about that behavior you then turn that venom of
yours onto my father and my husband? Onto me and Nicholas? You know, my son,
Nicholas? The child you BARELY saw this whole vacation? The child who did
absolutely NOTHING but be respectful of you and your home? My husband who
bent over backwards to help you with anything and everything you needed? Is
that how you speak to him? Let me tell you something, Mom. He thinks so little
of you right now, because of the way you acted toward his child. Yes. Child.
Because she is only a mere 19 years old. Less than a third of your age.

You know what, Mom? There's not enough Paxil in the world for you. You need to get off it. It isn't working for you because depression is not your problem.

You really need help. I suggest you go back into counseling ASAP. You are
definately in need of therapy. Heavy psychotherapy. Further? You ARE your mother's daughter...Thank God I'm not mine.

There's still hope for me and my daughter.

With all due love and respect for you, Mom? I really hope you consider going to
see your doctor and giving him this letter. Be real with yourself for once in your
life. See what others see. You say we all hate you? No, we don't all hate you
and "love Harold". That's paranoia, and part of your disease. You are just simply impossible to love sometimes. You are not a well woman. Your brother is not a well man. You are both mentally ill individuals. I am not saying this as a criticism, because I am sick as well. The only difference is...I have sought help. Not just talk therapy with some quack...but a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a neurologist and of course,my family doctor...all working together to make me whole again. And your newfound addiction to painkillers is very disturbing as well. They don't mix well with Paxil. Your knee operation was months before mine. Move on. Nothing hurts you physically. Only mentally and it has your body fooled into thinking otherwise.

I hope you take this letter with the love it was intended with. But, I know you
well enough to know you won't...and that this letter will probably sever our
relationship. I am prepared to deal with that consequence.

If you were healthier, you would take the time to search yourself, a bit of
introspection, to realize that I am right. But, I will take your hatred of me with a
grain of salt, because I love you...I know you aren't well...and I will forgive that
of you...just like you chose to forgive your mother.

I imagine this is goodbye...so I will tell you that I love you. I love Dad. I wish
you both the best life has to offer. I wish we could have been closer...it was just
never meant to be.

Love you.
CP.